And an obsession.
The way it looks, the way it feels, what YOU think of it.
A slowly decaying shell that I think of far more than I ever think of my soul.
Sorry, it’s the truth.
My Pagan friends will be quick to point out that we’re wired for survival so out bodies will always be first and foremost on our minds; what we eat, where do we sleep, who will keep us warm..? Christians know that our war with evil begins and ends in our flesh, so an obsession is justified there as well.
While I agree with both angles, I think the problem goes deeper and has in it a root of insidious evil. I believe at the end of the day I choose body over soul far more than I care to admit. And I know better! I’ve walked with the Lord 28 years and I can recite by rote countless scriptures admonishing us to take control of our flesh, our bodies, our thoughts, our imaginations, our lusts, our tongue. But do I?
The rest of the time I wallow in unnecessary struggle. Why not? Everyone else does. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow or what we eat or drink or even our very lives. But we worry. Man, do we worry. We’re trained to do so. We exit the womb clenching our fists, wailing in fear our very first moments. While hopefully there is someone there to comfort us in the beginning of life, how long is it where we begin to understand the struggle (and faithlessness, sorry) of those around us?
How old were we when we began to absorb the devastating ramifications of The Curse just from our environment? We were doomed by the fall of man to have these struggles but Jesus redeemed this as well, reminding us to not allow our hearts to be troubled.
But did our parents teach us the peace of Christ or did they just reinforce the fear of the fall? And what are we teaching our children? This is as much of an abuse cycle handed down from generation to generation than any others we have heard about or sadly experienced.
The thought of my grown children one day laying in their beds at night terrified about their bills, their health or their love lives rips my heart open. How can I guarantee that they won’t become like that? That they won’t become like me?
The answer is in the question. I need to change. I need to do more than learn Christ’s promises, I have to believe them, live them, prove them and pass them down to future generations. Someone in my family tree has to remove this curse once and for all and allow peace, love, hope and freedom to flow once and for all.
It’s really hell when you’re Reachin’ For The Heav’n and all you wanna do is make yourself feel good.