No doubt about it. I want love. I’ve been single longer than I care to address and to some of you it may not seem like an eternity but to me… @#$%! I see nothing wrong with admitting that I want-no need to have a life partner, someone to be shamelessly co-dependant on. HA! I know a couple who have been married as long as I’ve been alive and they have been virtually inseparable their whole marriage. They work together, go to the same functions, have the same friends etc. Hubby says, “If I didn’t want to spend all my time with her, why would I have bothered to marry her?
In our disposable fast-food society relationships happen quickly and peter out in record speed. It’s hard-no almost impossible to find a serious taker in such a climate. This is where it really pays to have an inspirational example in my life. Yup, I’m talking about HIM, the Big J.C. Here is a relationship that has lasted 28 years without a moment where I’ve felt rejected or expendable. Jesus has been more real to me than all of my relationships (sorry guys) and yet I can tell He is guiding me toward Human Love.
I guess as my Creator God understands my need for companionship since He instilled it in me. There are times when I can almost taste that love I seek, nights where I dream of meeting The One only to wake up in bittersweet afterglow: great to feel in love, sad to be required to snap out of it.
So I keep looking to Him, or trying to at least. This may be my life’s longest time of struggle trying to keep focused on the Lord and the work He has given me to do all the while hoping for a major distraction. Ah yes, glorious distraction. I love the moment in “The Mirror Has Two Faces” when Barbra Streisand’s character is giving a lecture on the chemical components of the physiology of love and then finally admits, “Heck, we like it ‘cause it feels f-ing great!”
I want to feel great again. And soon. But only if great is truly great and not something I wish was great. I guess that’s the role God ultimately plays in all this: Divine Matchmaker. We throw around the phrase, “A match made in heaven.” But is that where we look first? Is that where we look only? I wish I could say that I have mastered this but in love I may be an expert but in waiting for it to come from God’s hand I am an absolute beginner.